peter
10/05/16

Jokes

Hey kids,

 

you say that the word "sick"

actually means "really good!"

So as you know I love telling jokes in class.

 

Some of you laugh politely, or actually get my type of humour!

One or two of you laugh a little later on ~ when you really GET it!

Now that makes ME laugh! (As I am glad you listened and thought about it!)

So here are my top 10 jokes to start with:

Plus 10 more just added further below!

 

1. What did mum do when her two kids fell down a well?

She got a book on how to raise kids.

True story: In Grenoble, France there is a bronze replica of a monkey/chimp! Because a monkey who, without a second thought, ran over to a well where it had seen a child fall in (lid left off the well by a visitor at a gathering). Before any adult had noticed the child missing, brought the child back up to the top...safe and sound. That monkey, for the rest of his/her life had free access to any shop, house or source of food that it desired. Much loved by the villages it was. A hero!    


2. I heard the police caught the guy who stole the truckload of pigs.

How did the police find him? The pigs squealed.

      

3. Why did the burglar take a shower after he robbed the house?

He wanted to make a clean getaway.

   

4. Who is yellow, tastes like cheese and writes murder mysteries?

 Agatha Twistie!

 

5. What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half a worm.

 

6. Dad: Does your new maths teacher like you Jimmy?

Yes Dad - she puts lots of kisses next to my sums.

 

7. Who is the straightest person in England?

The Queen - she is a ruler.

 

8. Why did the policeman arrest the chicken?

It used 'foul' language.

 

9. Joe: I've lost my horse.

Dad: Well put a notice in the paper.

Joe: Don't be silly Dad - my horse cannot read.

 

10. Doctor, I feel like a dog.

Well just get on the couch.

I can't, I am not allowed to sit on the furniture.

 

 JOKES FOR KIDS FOREVER (scientifically proven to be good for you; it's the endorphins working you know!) Endorphins in your brain - are like happy dolphins jumping and splashing and having fun in the ocean!

 

10 more Jokes to keep you coming back for more fun!


What creatures did not go into the Ark in pairs?

Worms...they went in apples.


What did the ocean say when it met the shore?

Nothing, it just 'waved.'

 

Why did the girl blush when she passed the hen house?

She heard 'fowl' language.

 

Why are there 'fouls' in football.

Because there are 'Ducks' in cricket.

 

What do you get if you cross a zebra and a pig?

Striped sausages.

 

If Martians live on Mars, and Venetians live on Venus, who lives on Pluto.

Fleas!!!

 

How do Aliens like their coffee?

The Milky Way.

 

Why did the farmer call his piglet 'Ink?'

Because he kept running out of the 'pen.'

 

What do you call a monkey who likes potato chips.

A Chip Monk.

 

Why is a Rodeo horse very rich?

Because he has a million 'bucks' in him.

 

Teacher: John, what do you know about The Dead Sea?

Student: I didn't even know it was sick.


1 comment

# Klassiker Rendalarm on 11/11/15 at 17:07
This is a cool website. Glad I found it.

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The Answerer - Peter Harris, answered children's questions from his many years of teaching "Scripture" classes.
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